Do you have time to keep your child safe online?

 
A couple of nights ago I went to a parent information evening at my son's school about internet safety.  I am in awe of the way his school handles issues in the playground -- it's obvious they've spent a lot of time and resources training their staff -- so I thought I could pick up some extra philosophical tips for our online moderation of MiniMonos.

The young groovy teacher, introduced as a "digital native", was no doubt a whizz on the computer. But I was surprised to find that her advice to parents about online safety was surface level at best, and while there was lively conversation about the issues parents face, there were few useful take-home solutions.

For one thing, we heard the standard: "Parents need to be actively involved in what their kids are doing online". [Cue: parents shifting uncomfortably in their seats] Yep, another thing to add to the daily 'to-do' list, then when not ticked, the 'bad-parent' list.  I have seen this advice repeated frequently in articles on internet safety and it is rarely elaborated on.  What does 'actively involved' mean?  As a parent, am I really supposed to know everything my child does on every game he plays -- every day? So should he stop and explain that the latest game update  means his avatar can now sit down on the beach and he can say "Woohoo!" in the Monkey Fist game? Are you kidding? 

As parents we're also advised to keep the computer in a public family area, to promote online transparency. I totally agree. But let's get real here; I'm racing around cooking dinner, feeding the cat, cleaning up and throwing another load in the washing machine.  I'm not standing behind my son watching, [Cue: Soft focus and violins] as he types cute and funny messages to his friends while we laugh at the computer screen together. Well actually I do do that.  But not as much as I'd like to.

The chances are that you're never going to keep up with every single thing your kids are doing online. So you don't have to feel guilty about that. Here are some realistic tips for non-geeky, time-pressured parents, who want to keep their kids safe online:

• Make an agreement with them about their own internet safety rules, whereby use of the family or their own computer depends on these rules being followed.  Here is an excellent outline agreement from SafeKids.com.

• Kids and tweens need to be on a safe, moderated social network site. This is a site where trained staff review every line of conversation, there are filters in place to prevent offensive language being used and there is a clear and transparent process for moderating behavior.  It's also recommended that parents choose a kids' site which has adult staff who chaperone in-world; sort-of like super-fun teachers on duty. Good kids' sites will have an easily-found page for parents which descibes their safety features. 

• An excellent tool for parents is KidZui.com. This free software provides a safe web browser which you can download onto your computer, allowing your children access only to approved kids' games, social networks and resource sites. It's also quick and easy to install.

• Ensure that when your child signs up to a virtual world or other social network site, they use your email address and you check out the site before approving their membership.  Kids are so savvy now that many have multiple email addresses and usernames on one social network site. By using your own email address it also means that any communications about issues from the staff of that site, come to you.

• On a moderated kids' website, if you have a concern about any behavior or conversation that has occurred involving your child, don't be afraid to ask the community manager for a copy of the chat logs so you can view the conversation yourself.  Every good, safe site should have clear and easy access to staff who can help you. and be willing to share with you what their moderating process is.

Now that you've set your child up safely online, you can go back to racing around getting dinner ready. The great thing is that while the peas are cooking you can [Oooh, hang on...Cue: Violins again] look over their shoulder and ask what on earth they mean as they're typing: "Yo, sup EcoMom! Do your go banana power at Castle Beach on the Avenger server! Lol! {:(])"

Do you know which way the bus is going?

I couldn't stop laughing at how easy the answer is to this one. Did I get it though?! You bet I didn't! And I feel sheepish knowing that the preschoolers did ...instantly too! Try out this fun, fast test for yourself (if you're having trouble seeing the video, please click here):

How did you do?!

What do your kids really do on virtual worlds?

Photo by GK Weir on Flickr

This month we've been astonished at the growth of the virtual world we're developing. Suddenly parents and kids have heard about MiniMonos and they're visiting in droves. We've been blown away by what these children are really like and what they do when they engage online.

Predictably, the first wave of kids coming to MiniMonos have been early adopters and are highly tech-savvy multi-taskers, mostly aged between 9 and 13.  Many of them are seasoned gamers, often on a number of mature virtual worlds. What surprised us, however, was just how heart-warmingly supportive and helpful they are to each other and to us.  Just last month, around 25 MiniMonos fan help-websites sprung up, created by kids, every one of them offering positive support to new players who are discovering MiniMonos for the first time. On MiniMonos Island, if any player asks a question, it is instantly answered by someone more experienced.  We have been inundated by players requesting to be virtual tour guides, ensuring that new players are welcomed while playing and chatting together.

There is plenty of parental worry about kids on computers being in danger of social isolation. Many articles advise parents to get their kids off keyboards so they can get 'real friends'.  As mother to an 8-year old, I've been very aware of this theory.  At MiniMonos we advocate a balanced lifestyle for kids -- we openly communicate our love for the environment and encourage the kids to interact with and look after the planet they live on.  But even the highly experienced gamer kids with multiple virtual world accounts have amazed us with their level of social competence.  They are articulate and outspoken. They are so polite it makes my mother-heart glow. They follow an ethical set of social rules. They want to know who we are and what we stand for   -- then they decide if we're good people and if they want to stick around.

These kids laugh a lot and love to have fun.  I spend much of my day writing Lol! and :-) to them with a big, silly grin on my face. I'm often giggling at my desk. Then suddenly they will say something beautiful or give one of the MiniMonos staff members an unexpected, stunning gift of art and we'll be so moved, we have tears in our eyes.

Yesterday, a group of children, as their monkey avatars, were chatting on the beach at MiniMonos when a new kid -- a nay-sayer -- turned up.  The new kid was walking around the beach saying: "This is boring." "I'm leaving." "This game is lame." "I'm leaving now". "I'm going."  He must have said it 20 times.  I was interested to see how the kids reacted.  A couple of them asked him why.  Others offered to help.  When he didn't explain but just kept repeating the same sentences, it was like an unspoken social rule was activated.  I observed, fascinated, as the kids just withdrew their attention from him and continued chatting and talking to each other.  They didn't move away from him.  They didn't say anything like: "Well why don't you just go then!"  They weren't negative towards him.  They just got busy chatting about other things and eventually the nay-sayer quietly went away.  Nobody commented when he left.

Researcher Mizuko Ito led a large study about young people's use of digital media, with 28 researchers and collaborators at the University of Southern California and the University of California, Berkeley. He says: "There are myths about kids spending time online -- that it is dangerous or making them lazy. But we found that spending time online is essential for young people to pick up the social and technical skills they need to be competent citizens in the digital age." Ito's findings showed that “most parents knew very little about what their kids did online, and struggled to give real guidance and help." 

We recommend that if your child spends time on virtual worlds, you check it out first, making sure that it encourages good values and is safe and appropriate for their age group. Check that it has 24-hour moderation, or a safe-chat filter.  Ask your child about the friends they chat to. Make sure they know how to communicate instantly to virtual world staff if there is a problem.  Allow them to show you how amazing they are online.  Prepare to be overwhelmed.

We expected that the process of building MiniMonos would be fun, exciting and challenging. We didn't expect our hearts to be constantly bursting.  We didn't expect the children to be so clever and creative. The MiniMonos team fire emails to each other several times a day with examples of cute, funny, amazing things these kids do and say.  We're always saying "Wow!  Aren't these guys INCREDIBLE!"

These kids I've described are the vast majority of the MiniMonos community so far, not the exception.  We're not so naive to think we won't have behavoural issues to deal with in the future; however, good safety standards and the ethical culture the pioneer kids continue to encourage mean that any problems are able to be dealt with quickly and effectively.

Parents -- thank you for allowing us meet your glorious children. Long may these amazing digital natives continue to teach, delight and inspire us all.

Vote MiniMonos for Best Virtual World for Kids!

Christy Matte from About.com: Family Computing is a kids' virtual worlds guru -- she's calling for nominations for the Best Virtual World for Kids which takes kids' online safety seriously, has appropriate content, is open to everyone and preferably has no ads.

If you think MiniMonos fits (we totally do -- MiniMonos is safe, fully moderated, promotes green values, we don't like ads to kids AND we're big on monkey-fun!) then we'd really appreciate you clicking here and taking a quick minute to vote.

Thanks and Best Bananas!

 

Surprise birthday present after a MiniMonos get-together

This week I’m not posting a MiniMonos Meatless Meal as for the last 3 days the whole MiniMonos team have been together in Wellington, planning our awesome new releases on MiniMonos Island for the new year. It's been wonderful to get together and brainstorm really cool ideas and have a heap of laughs, as well as meeting other stimulating like-minded people and fabulous eco-friends.

Tonight our family is having an 8th birthday celebration for our son before we fly out to Australia at the crack of dawn tomorrow.

Our boy was born in Australia and we brought him ‘across the ditch’ to New Zealand when he was 2 months old.  Ever since he could pronounce the word “Thydney” he’s been hankering to get back to his home town to check it out and we’ve been dying to show him our favorite spots there. After months of secrecy we finally surprised him last night when I got home from our MiniMonos get-together -- with tickets to Sydney:

 

Ooohhh…an exciting-looking envelope…

 

I don’t get it.

Oh…

It couldn’t be….

IT IS!!

(Overwhelmed)

Introducing MiniMonos Team Member: Deborah Todd

We are thrilled to have such an awesome addition to Team MiniMonos!

Deborah Todd is a veteran award-winning designer, writer, producer, and director in the interactive arena, with more than 25 published titles to her credit. She is known for her pioneering work in children's interactive media, and as one of the first women game designer-writers in the industry, working with many of the early video game icons. 

Based in San Francisco, Deborah has worked with some of the industry’s top publishers and Hollywood studios, including Disney Interactive, Disneyland, Fox, DreamWorks, Discovery Channel, MGM/UA, Columbia, Warner Bros., Nickelodeon, The Learning Company, Humongous Entertainment, Broderbund, Mindscape, Houghton-Mifflin, McGraw-Hill, Random House, and Steven Spielberg’s Starbright Foundation.

Deborah’s published titles include interactive games and media, books, and television, including Curious George Comes Home for Houghton Mifflin Interactive, Blue's Clues 123 Time Activities with Nickelodeon and Humongous Entertainment, 101 Dalmatians: Escape from DeVil Manor for Disney Interactive, and Anastasia for Fox.  In addition to her published work, she has consulted on nearly two-dozen projects, has sold a family feature screenplay, and is a graduate “with honors” of the Hanna Barbera Animation Writing Program.  Her book, Game Design: From Blue Sky to Green Light was launched at GDC 2007.

So what does that mean for MiniMonos (apart from the fact that its a huge pleasure to be working with such a fun Superstar!)? Well, cool stuff like this:

Where is MiniMonos? 

Deep in the heart of the Bermuda Triangle is a tropical island paradise inhabited by the fun-loving and highly evolved MiniMonos monkeys. 

Since the island is situated deep in the Bermuda Triangle and people avoid venturing far into these mysterious waters, no humans have ever been on MiniMonos Island. 

Consequently, completely absent of any human interference and left to their own devices, the MiniMonos monkeys have evolved into the world’s most highly intelligent and playful creatures.  These little monkeys understand the importance of being a good part of their community and keeping their island a beautiful place to live and play, and they know that having fun in everything they do is the best way to live a long and happy life.  With lots of friends to play with, cool places to discover, and fun adventures to keep mixing things up, MiniMonos Island is an inviting and cool place to play and explore. 

Legend has it that all kinds of mysterious things happen in the Bermuda Triangle, and sometimes the results of these things show up here on MiniMonos.  Compasses go wild, UFOs are spotted here more than any place on earth, and the area is even believed to have wormholes to make travel though time and space a whole lot faster.   

It’s a common occurrence at MiniMonos for treasures and artifacts from boats, ships, planes, and UFOs to surface around the island, washing up on shore or being discovered near the reef, and sometimes even making its way inside the lagoon and onto the beaches. New things appear every day, and the monkeys love finding these shipwrecked treasures, putting them to good use in imaginative and fun ways around the island. 

Other stuff washes up on shore, too, and things that don’t belong in the water get caught in the reef, find their way into the lagoon, and generally make a mess of this tropical island paradise –like plastic bags, tin cans, bottles, and other types of junk.  These things make their way here because some humans are careless with trash, and the winds and the Gulf Stream (a big river with a very strong current that flows inside of the Atlantic Ocean) carry them to the island.  

This human junk can make things on the island run amok fast, so the monkeys are quick to do their part to take care of handling this stuff and keep their island running smoothly.  

And from this exciting background, Deborah is writing mini-games and quests, like treasure hunts in undersea caves, sunken wreckage, planes, and UFOs. This recycled ‘treasure’ can help to form a jungle band, make a cool beach sculpture or have a UFO glow fight! But sometimes the players might need to work to clear the plastic and other rubbish out of the way in order to complete their quest.  There will be electromagnetic surprises, wild trade winds, cave adventures, cool treehouses and beautiful gardens to tend. And MiniMonos will always be a safe, fun place to come and make friends, play games together and chat.

No wonder Deborah’s projects have garnered such awards as the ABA Book Sellers Choice New Media Award, the ComputEd Best Interactive Story Award, Child Magazine’s Best Software of the Year Award, Parenting Magazine’s Software Magic Award, and U.S. News and World Report’s Top 12 Titles of the Year.

We’re totally privileged to have Deborah on the MiniMonos Team! Let us know what you think of MiniMonos so far -- we’ll keep you posted as more stories, quests and games go live!

Six Great Tips for Dads Raising Sons

I must say, over the years that I've delved into world-renowned psychologist Steve Biddulph's books, seminars and interviews, I've become a complete convert. Biddulph's philosophy is "that as the world economy slows down, we need to rediscover community and find time to love our families, our earth, and those who share our lives." And for over 20 years he's been teaching families how to do this. His guidance is humorous, clear and so effective that without exception, the people I talk to who have come into contact with him, have invariably had head-slapping "OF COURSE!!" moments. 

Biddulph encourages fathers to take the time to actively parent their sons and provide them with a strong role model, teaching them how to control and ‘drive’ their male bodies and respect women. When I look at some of Steve Biddulph’s tips for Dads, I’m grateful that these are a natural fit for the man in our house, allowing me to often tip-toe away (or in some cases, run) from the boy-scene:

1. Helping with babies

My Other Half was truly the other half when it came to our son as a baby. Having successfully been through fatherhood before, he calmly handled many nights, diapers and tantrums (mine).

2. Playing rough and tumble

Thanks Steve, this one I’m happy to leave completely up to Dad. In fact there’s a rule in our house when our son comes into our room for his 7am cuddle: No Roughhouse Allowed until The Mother has Exited the Bed. We all know I’m not keen to start the day with screeching in my ear and a stray elbow to the face. In their favourite game, Hand of Doom, Dad’s big mitt takes on a life of its own and gets completely out of control, much to my alarm. It certainly gets me out of bed quick-smart. By the time I’ve finished my shower, the laughter and bed-wrecking has completely exhausted them and its time to start the day.

3. Telling stories

I’m sure Biddulph means books. Our son prefers to snuggle up to Dad and hear a juicy story about acts of bad behaviour Dad got up to as a kid. Like pouring a pint of milk over his brother’s head or snorting it from his nostrils at the dinner table and once, stealing money from his sister. The resulting hideous family enquiry put him off theft for life. I can only hope these tales are cautionary.

4. Giving firm (but not mean) discipline

Biddulph advises Dads not to be the soft parent and leave the disciplining to Mum. Fortunately, my husband invented the Instant Ladder of Doom. (It occurs to me that Doom features a bit in our house -- except this one is serious). The moment the call goes out from Dad that the Instant Ladder of Doom has been activated,  Son knows that unless he gets back into line, there is a step-by-step punishment scale; one bit of back-chat earning him an extra rung. It works. He’s only once gone to rung 3 and having his favourite toy put on top of the wardrobe (in full view) for a week was enough.  He didn’t want to contemplate anything worse than that. 

5. Having outdoor adventures

Father and Son discovered a hidden trail up a hill and through a forest not far from our house, which they explored on a whim and a scorching-hot day for 4 hours without water. “It was AWESOME MUM! You should come next time!” yelled Son. Yep. Love to. With sunscreen, water, change of clothes, insect repellent, a picnic basket and GPS navigator. Still want me there?

6. Teaching respect and communication with girls

Fathers are urged not to talk disparagingly in front of their sons about women’s appearance, weight or looks. Again, I’m hugely grateful that my husband often says to our son: “Isn’t your mother beautiful?” while they both gaze at me fondly. However I wouldn’t mind Dad also teaching him how to be discerning. I’m not sure when I’m in my flannel PJ’s with birds-nest hair, fleeing the bed, that it’s actually my best look.

I'm inspired by the fabulous moms who left comments on our last blog: Hooray For Men Raising Boys, celebrating the wonderful job their partners are doing. If you're a mom, what inspires you about the father in your house? If you're a dad raising a son, what tips do you have for other dads?